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Sikh Wedding Ceremony
 The customs that the Sikhs
follow during their wedding ceremonies are similar to those practiced by
the Hindus. One important difference is that while the Hindus use Vedic
texts the Sikhs use their holy book, Adi Grantha (also called Guru
Granth Sahib).
Pre Wedding Rituals
A Ceremony of Bliss
The Sikhs refer to a wedding as Anand Karaj or a ceremony of
bliss. The shopping for the wedding begins with the purchase of Rumalla
Sahib - a set of four pieces of cloth that are usually embroidered and
are used to cover the Granth Sahib. The bride`s maternal grandparents
and uncles also spend for the wedding on clothes and jewellery. They
also host one meal on the occasion. This is publicly acknowledged as
their contribution to the wedding.
Engagement
The formal engagement or kurmai is usually a family affair. The bride's
family goes to the groom's house carrying gifts that include sweets,
clothes and jewellery. The bride's father or guardian gives the groom a
gold ring, a Kada (Gents Bangle) and gold mohre (coins). Later, these
coins are strung into a black thread and given to the bride. She wears
it round her neck and it is akin to the mangalsutra worn by Hindu women.
But amongst Sikhs, the bride wears this thread only during special
occasions.
The Wedding Veil
After the engagement, the groom's family visits the bride's house. For
this ceremony of chunni, only close relatives and friends are invited.
The groom's mother and aunts give the bride a chunni or veil that
usually has ornate phulkari, which is the traditional embroidery of
Punjab, done on it. The groom's mother applies mehendi (henna) on the
bride's palms. The bride is also given jewellery and clothes. In the
days gone by, Sikh weddings were a long drawn out affair and after the
engagement, the bride and the groom were confined to the house till the
actual wedding took place. Nowadays, this period of confinement is just
a day. Maiyan signals the beginning of the confinement with the ladies
of the household singing songs to the beat of dholkis (drums).
Vatna Ceremony in Sikh Wedding
The vatna ceremony takes place a few days prior to the wedding. In the
early hours of the morning, a paste of turmeric, sandal, cream and
rosewater, called ubatan, is applied on the bride's body. The bride is
scrubbed clean under the shade of a bagh. Bagh is a piece of hand made
cotton cloth with phulkari work. It is usually passed on from one
generation to the next. A similar ceremony takes place in the groom's
house too.
Jaggo Ceremony
This usually takes place in the late hours of the night before the
wedding. The maternal relatives of the bride assemble the night prior to
the wedding. They decorate a copper vessel, called gaffar, with diyas
(lamps) made of atta (wheat flour). They light these lamps with mustard
oil wicks. The bride's maternal aunt (mami) carries this vessel on her
head. Another one of the ladies carries a long stick with ghungroos
(small bells) tied on it and the ladies then visit the houses of their
relatives in the village. In cities too, this custom is followed, but as
the distances are large, the ladies travel by a vehicle. They are
welcomed at every house and served sweets. The ladies sing and perform
giddha, a traditional dance. The family that they visit usually pours
some oil into the diyas.
Usually the mehandi and sangeet ceremony follows that of jaggo. Mehandi
is applied on the bride`s hands and the other girls of the family too
apply mehandi. There is singing and dancing followed by a feast.
Wedding Day
On the day of the wedding, in the morning, the groom`s
sister-in-law and other female relatives go to a gurduwara and fill a
gharoli (earthen pitcher) with water. This water is used to bathe the
groom during the khare charna ceremony. The groom is made to sit on a
stool for his bath and four girls hold a cloth to his head. A similar
bathing ritual is performed at the bride`s house as well. After the
bridal bath, the bride is made to wear the chura - 21 red and white
bangles. Then, her sisters and friends tie kalerien - golden metal
plates - to her bangles. She wears her bridal attire, which is a heavily
embroidered salwar-kameez or lehenga-chunni. She wears a tikka (a hair
ornament) in the parting of her hair and a nath (nose-ring) on her nose.
The other jewels that Sikh brides wear include chaunk- a round head
ornament made of gold or silver, kaintha - a gold necklace (like a
choker), thick bangles called gokhru and pajeb or silver anklets.
Meanwhile the groom gets ready to leave for his bride`s house. Usually
he wears a brocade ashcan (long coat). The groom and the male members of
his family wear pink turbans. When the groom is ready to leave, his
brother`s wife (bhabhi) applies surma (kohl) to his eyes and the groom
gives her money as a token of his gratitude. After this ceremony,
referred to as surma pawai, the groom leaves for the bride`s house on
horseback, accompanied by his friends and relatives.
The baraat arrives at the bride`s house amidst music, singing and
dancing. The male members of the bride`s family welcome the baraat. This
reception is called milni. A raagi (professional bard) sings shabad or
the holy verse. The members of both families exchange garlands and
gifts. The groom is taken in-doors and this is the time for the bride`s
sisters and friends to engage him in a session of light- hearted banter.
A Sikh wedding usually takes place before noon. The families of the
bride and the groom assemble at the gurudwara. Raagis sing asa di var or
the morning hymn. Then the couple is made to sit in front of the Adi
Granth. A priest first tells them about the obligations of married life.
Then he sings the hymns of marriage from the Granth Sahib. During lawaan,
the groom and the bride each hold one end of the scarf. The groom leads
the bride around the Granth Sahib. At the end of the fourth round, the
groom and the bride are pronounced husband and wife. All those assembled
bless the couple and give them shagun or gifts in the form of money. A
feast follows the ceremony of lawaan.
Post wedding Ceremony
When it is time for the bride to leave her house for her new home, she
throws wheat grains over her shoulder signifying that she is paying off
her debt to her parental home. She is carried to her husband`s house in
a doli, or palanquin. But this custom is rarely followed these days.
Upon her arrival, the groom`s family welcomes the bride and gives her
mukh dekhai or money to behold her. Usually, the groom and his mother,
give the bride jewellery as mukh dekhai.
The couple visit the bride`s parental home a day after the wedding. A
welcome feast is held in their honour and the bride and the groom are
given gifts.
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